I look good naked
"I look good naked", it's sensational. I know. I don't mind riding the sensational line in these times to bring attention to important conversations. It's Kalika. Perhaps all my experiences to date have groomed me to do so....
After reading an article yesterday in Common Dreams called "Eating our way to disease", a thought came to me upon waking this morning. It will take me a second to get to the point of it. There are layers to this thought. Past experiences that need to be identified first for it to make sense to anyone beyond myself in this moment.
Okay first of all, I'm a practicing yogi. Well, true yogis are always practicing. What I mean by that is I have a conservative vein in me. Although I consider myself a left-hand path tantrika, one who believes in pleasure and desire, I also am mindful about my desires. Desire creates and perpetuates. It's about understanding the power of desire and pleasure, having a deep respect for both, and taking responsibility for them.
Second, I grew up in modern society in a suburb but still part of a larger city. I live in a rural town now and I can tell you its different. I like it. It's more conducive to a yogic lifestyle. It's a simpler life here although I shouldn't romanticize it too much. If access were easy, it would quickly turn "modern" and the truth is that it is in transition (one I hope to mitigate but that is another blog post conversation).
Third, I grew up identifying with being "very girly". Although I feigned to fight that stereotype by hanging out with guys mainly, and fancying myself a tom boy, let's face it, I loved playing with makeup since at least 5 years old. When I was in third grade I wore frosted pink lipstick to school, by 6th grade bright red. I had hundreds of Barbies and My Little Ponies growing up. When I wanted to dress up as a child it was all female characters, and when I got older I veered toward the trend of sexy costumes and had a minor obsession of looking like a Playboy model.
That being said, certain ideas and desires live in me still. I see them. I am aware of them. Mostly I recognize them as old echoes that will continue to dissipate in time, but let's face it, unless I go to India and I renounce everything to be a wandering and unclothed sanyasi or decide to live at a commune with other nudists, there will be clothes. I don't crave shopping the way I used to. No, not by any means. Mostly I am happy wearing things till they wear out. But once they do start to wear out, that is when I notice the desires getting strong for something new. And it's not because it is old but that I want to look good....
And this is where I had my funny thought of "why should I care?" Why should I care if, let's say, my leggings are getting a little baggy - "I look good naked".
Now, that could sound a little shallow coming from a petite blonde who chose to go down Barbie lane and get her first boob job when she was 20. But here's the thing. I feel good. And I eat pretty well. Overall, I take pretty good care of my body. It's our temple of consciousness after all, in my cosmic-view. I am proud that I can say I look good naked because I feel good naked. And that's the point, I feel good naked. If someone (including myself) wants to judge me for baggy leggings well, I wish "feeling good naked" upon them too.
And this is where the idea comes back to that damn article about "Eating our Way to disease". Diet is super important in the picture of how we look and feel. Now, I can tell you I have friends that might be classified technically as being overweight but I know what they eat and they eat pretty clean now too: not eating a lot of meat, dairy, eggs, processed foods, and avoiding pesticides. There are different body types and sizes (and thank goodness there are because all sizes and shapes have their own beauty that we would miss out on if everyone were one size). So it doesn't matter what you actually look like so much as how you feel. How you feel is what makes you look good naked. And I can say from experience of leaving red meat and pork behind ten years ago, chicken 9 years ago, and eating mostly veggies and minimizing dairy intake I feel good. Part of that is I have a cleaner conscious. I don't unconsciously eat the suffering of factory farm animals, I'm not consuming uncertain shame. I'm awake, I'm aware. And I look good naked.
My next post will be: Superheroes wear uniforms - Stay tuned!
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